sharmaine

sorry

2007-08-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

At times I wish I could hate you ,
I really do .
I'm losing faith.
im trying.
trying very hard to hate you.

my mind just cant make a decision.

should i hate you?

sometimes i just hope

you'd take me with you.
I promise i'll never let you down
I will love you

now and forever
i promise.
________________________
*sry for everything.*
all these are for you.
meant to be for you.
it has been more than half a year.
im still loving you like i used to.
im just sorry.
i didnt mean to fall in love with you.
forgive me please.

you're my one and only sunshine

2007-08-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

you're my one

and only

sunshine.

You know i'd give you anything,
I'd give you everything.
I'd sacrifice the world for you.
I'd do anything for you.
I'd stay awake for you.

I'm sorry for being foolish,
i've been waiting for so long,
Longer than anyone else.
My heart will never change.

So let me be .

If you are reading this,you should know who you are.

Words need not be spoken,
Just know that i'm always here.
Just pretend that I don't feel this way about you.
Just let me pretend that i don't .
I don't know for how long ,but i can't help it.
Perhaps someone would come along the way.

But i'll never forget you.
*forgive me*
* i cant help but fall in love with you*

3rd august

dearest

2007-08-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

this is for you.

you know who u r.

but i guess u'll never get to read this.

its never meant to be =)

i know.

for the people who has helped esp w.s,q.y,t.r,

tks but its impossible.

dearest,

every night,

i jus spent my night dreaming.

dreaming that,

there'll come a night when

,the phone would ring and it would be you calling.

*its onli a dream*

whatever you say,

whatever you do,

i will never blame you

and in fact,

forgive you no mater what.

you told me that

there

were better guys out there.

but deep inside,

i know that you're rejecting me in a nice way.

*thanks*

dont get me wrong,im not blaming you.

i asked for ur mail,

you gave it to me so willingly.

naive as i was,

i thought you had a change of heart.

i was really over the moon.

overwhelmed with many thoughts

that we could one day be together.

but never did u expect me to find out that u actually deleted me.

when i found out,

i deleted ur email and ur cellphone number immediately

because i hated u.

you said u wan to concentrate on ur Os,

adding u on msn will affect ur studies?

i dont think so.
but no matter how hard i tried to forget u,

i jus couldnt do it.

i was really heartbroken

i told myself that u're not worth

everything that i've done for you.

but deep down,

my heart just yearns for you

i wish that things were back to the past

when you didnt know that i had a crush on you.

maybe that would be better.

the reason why i told you is because i didnt want to regret it.

but now,

it seems like im regretting it more.

if i didnt tell you,

maybe we could even go out together

and be good friends.

sadly,all these were "ifs"

i guess you didnt know that i've actually been creating chances

so that i could see you more often

other than just in school.

i know thats being silly

but i just couldnt help it.

i just wanted your attention.

because in school,

you dont even say hi or look at me.

that look in your eyes,

jus simply makes my heart melt.

whenever i see you,

i just keep telling myself that its impossible between us.

that no matter how hard i try,

we'll never be together.

but another part of me just doesn't want to believe this fact.

that as long as i dont give up,

there would be a glimmer of hope.

i really dont know how long i can take all this

its really tough to see you everyday

and pretend that i dont know you.

people see me as a happy girl smiling everyday,

even if the world collapse.

perhaps,

its because i hide it well.

never allowing people to see my true self.

this is just a paintbrush that i carry around

so that the real me doesnt show.

i think of you just so suddenly sometimes.

and then there would be tears

i've told myself several times that

i should not harbour any thoughts that we could be together.

but i just cant control it sometimes

when i take out my phone,

i just really hope that there would be a msg from u

even if its a blank msg,

i would still be happy.

but all those are just hopes,

it'll never come true.

im sorry for loving you.

i know that this love of mine will never be returned back to me.

but im willing to try.

all i want is to be with you.

whenever you get caught by the discipline teachers,

i am really worried
because i never know if i still can get the chance to see you again

that one week that you got suspended was terrible.

it just breaks my heart to see this.

i cant help it.

written on 11th july 2007

loved since the beginning of this year =)

2007-08-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

i pretended to be happy.
i potrayed the happy go lucky image in front of everyone
i wear different masks in front of different people.
i try to 'pose' for the best photo in front of the camera.
but i know that we can never change reality
i wanted you to know that i love you.
i wanted you to smile
afterall, isnt life about searching for that everlasting smile?
maybe.
most probably.
the hopes of you and me together are far,
and maybe not even possible,
but still,
i just want to tell you that i havent give up.
and i dont think i ever will.

written on 16th july 2007
______________

Think of me,
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye
Remember me once in a while
please promise me you'll try
When you find that once again,
you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me...
Think of me,
think of me waking, silent and resigned
Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind
Think of the things we'll never do
There will never be a day when I won't think of you...
i just cant help it.

you + me = ?

2007-08-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

When two Libras come together in a love affair,
they form one of the most agreeable, romantic and well-balanced relationships around.

Harmony and aesthetics are of utmost importance to Libra;
Two Libras together bring their magically balanced and beautiful touch to everything they do together.

Libra is the Sign of Partnership; Libra loves to be in love, and two together spells relationship bliss.
If they're just dating, they spend their time at romantic movies and coffee houses;
if they're cohabiting, their house looks like an art gallery, full of the finest and loveliest of everything.
Libra wants everyone to love them--sometimes to a fault. They abhor conflict, and if one arises they're apt to back down just to maintain the peace.
It's not that they're insincere or that they don't care, it's that conflict makes them extremely uncomfortable.
The Libra-Libra duo understands this about one another and it's rare that either one will push the other to compromise their shared sensibilities.
Libra is most balanced while in a relationship, and each of them loves having someone to admire and dote upon.
They're happiest when they have someone with similar interests with whom to share their experiences.
Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love).
Two Libras together share a blissful, romantic relationship full of beauty, sensuality and utter pleasure.
It's no wonder the two stay together!
They spoil themselves and one another--sometimes to a fault.
Too many rich foods and too much laziness can be bad for their health.
Those are pleasures that prove hard to resist; both enjoy reclining and munching on a stem of grapes like the Greek goddess herself!Libra is an Air Sign.
They prize their mental abilities almost above all else; they enjoy intellectualism and appreciate art, films and all sorts of cultural pursuits.

Persuasive, courteous and diplomatic, Libras are the fair judges of the world.
Two together can use their diplomacy to smooth over almost any potential conflict with honor and decency.
Libra is a Cardinal Sign, a quality that allows them to initiate new projects and motivate others. Two Libras can work very well together toward any project they set their mind to.
What's the best aspect of the Libra-Libra relationship?
Their incredible sense of diplomacy, kindness and shared respect for one another.
These two can make a lasting love connection due to their deep, mutual understanding of one another's loves and needs.
Their commitment is likely to be great and solid!

____________________

copied from astrology website.

*you're a libra. im also one*

*can we end up like this?*

memories of us =)

2007-08-03T08:35:00.000-07:00

perhaps, every girl's dream is to have a perfect fairytale lovelife.
to marry your first love and last till the end with him =)
going through thick and thin together.
overcoming barriers and trusting each other.
is that possible?
or is that just an illusion?
for me, it isnt any different.
i wish for the perfect man to come into my life
and give me happiness.

when i broke up with him*,
of course i felt sad but,
come on wads the use of crying over spilt milk?
i admit that i really took things for granted that time,
but i was still young so i didnt realize that i did wrong
although i've long given up hope on him*,
and told myself that i can live a carefree life alone too,
i think i was lying to myself.

at first, it was very bad.
wherever i go,
memories that we had at the particular place flows back
but as time passes,
i was more used to being alone.
i thought i had grew up,
i thought that maybe really i dont need someone
to be always be with me,
i can be alone too.
i had this thinking for very long until recently,
perhaps, its true to a large extent
that every girl's dream is to have someone
to care for her and love her
and treat her like a precious gem

i know that even though i am happy as it is now,
sometimes i still need that special someone to be there for me.
like when i really face problems,
i know that there are some true friends out there
that really care about me,
but when i look thru my phone book,
i realized that i can call no one,
that "someone" is missing

*girls*,
its easy to say that being single is great,
but sometimes we just need that "someone"
to be there for us.=)

life is just so unfair.
should i say that ?
i dont know.
___________

I'll be waiting for you, here inside my heart .
Eventhough its all wishful thinking on my part.
Wherever you go,
whatever you do,
I will be right here waiting for you.
Whatever it takes,
or how my heart breaks,
I will be right here waiting for you.

25 july 07
10.10pm